I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
