I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
