Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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