I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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