he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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