I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
