Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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