I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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