Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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