Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
