Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
