My sheets look like a crime scene.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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