worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
