the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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