I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
