no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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