Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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