we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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