Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
