I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My vagina is officially offended.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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