its not stalking. its research.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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