I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
