Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
