I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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