honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think your dad took our porno
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
