I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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