I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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