i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
