we're blogging at a bar
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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