i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
