am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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