if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
