This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
