also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
