Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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