I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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