I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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