Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have fence marks all over my body
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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