therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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