My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize