I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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