11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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