the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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