Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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