Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
