do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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