It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
