i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
