OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Randomize
