**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
