my room smells like sperm. sweet.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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