Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
