Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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