I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
