The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
