I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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