And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
