I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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