woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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