i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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