It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
