conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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