I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize