around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Randomize
