I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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