is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
